I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
