walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
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