It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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