no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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