That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
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