Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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