maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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