new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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