see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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