Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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