her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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