just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
