Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
