I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
