so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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