does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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