I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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