Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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