There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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