so let's talk penis.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize