I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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