We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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