wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
