no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
