Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
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