i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
