So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
