my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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