DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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