Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
