By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
