we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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