What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
