IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
