office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
