More tranny stories later!
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
