well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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