Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
