On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
