ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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