Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
