my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
