Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I CAN MOONWALK!
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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