No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
