i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
