So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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