is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Randomize