Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize