so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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