i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
