can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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