Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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