He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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