Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
