She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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