so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
