The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
