yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
