if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
