I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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