you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
