New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
