She announced her abortion via fbk
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
