so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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