Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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